Reminiscing

I had initially started this blog to lament about the difficulties we've encountered with getting pregnant. We've been trying for a while. It's morphed into me talking about things I love, like gardening, trying to get skinny, but still, at the heart, I want to tell our story about starting a family. In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I thought I'd tell you our (in)fertility story. How we've gotten to where we are today.

We've started the process with getting set up with a new RE dept in the new town we moved to two months ago. So excited to add more people to the list entitled "People Who Have Seen My Woohoo." Not really. Dr Boy? He's the only person who's ever... uh.... been down to My Lady Town. He was my first boyfriend. My first, everything. All these docs and nurses are part of quite the elite group.

I got the paperwork in the mail today to call on the first day of my next period. To set up an appt for my HSG (hysterosalpinogogram). Fancy way of saying they shoot dye into your woohoo and see where it goes. To check for blockage. And stuff. My MIL is excited because apparently she got pregnant the month after she had one. 31 years ago. So surely simply having the test will work for us. We'll see.

It occurred to me that I should get my whole TTC story together for the docs so I'm not that person who does the whole:

Ummm yeah, so, like, ummmm..... My husband and I..... well we tried to make a baby and it didn't work. Even doctors tried to help out! Oh, how, you say? Well, they like, gave us pills and stuff. Oh! And one told me I couldn't eat sugar what a bee-atch!!! So can you help? I'llbeatotallyawesomemomIswear.

It shouldn't be this hard to remember everything you've done in the last 28 months, but you know what? It's pretty hard putting together everything you've done in the last 28 months. Especially because it spanned three different doctors, three different fertility plans. Three different insurance agencies. Here's my best recollection of everything. Forgive my brain for any liberties with timing.

January 1st, 2009- CD1, after my last Nuvaring (side note- if I were ever to go on BC ever again which I'm not, I'd use Nuvaring. It was magically easy. Magic. Like little elves telling your ovaries to stand down. Not that I needed elves apparently.) I had been on some form of BCP for 9 years.

May/June 2009-ish- CD a billion. No period since January. Which is too bad because I wanted to conceive on our trip to Tahiti in April so I could name our daughter Moorea. (not really.... i promise) Dr Lady Parts gave me Provera to induce menstruation. It worked. She said to wait to months to let my period do its thing, and if it didn't come back, take another round of provera.

July/August 2009-ish- CD 60ish. No period since provera two months prior. Took second round of provera.

Late September 2009- Got my period on my own! I attribute it to elevation. I was at Lake Tahoe.

March 2010- New insurance, new doctors. Got wanded. Dr Awful said the ovaries looked fine. But apparently was too busy to even note that he wanded me on my chart. Piss-poor book keeping, hate him.

April 2010- Round of provera and chlomid (my notes say "2 pills", not sure dose). No ultrasounds during the cycle. BFN. Bloodwork showed weak indication of ovulation.

June 2010- Second round of provera and chlomid. Didn't go back to see Dr Awful because he NEVER RETURNED my FIVE phone calls. And emails. BFN.

September 2010- New insurance, new doctor. The GP who made me do the restricted sugar thing. Diagnosed with PCOS (clearly seen on transvag ultrasound), low thyroid, and a bit of insulin resistance. Started taking 75mg synthroid daily, worked up to 1500mg metformin daily.

mid-November- 2010- Got period on my OWN for the first time in 23 months! Also started acupuncture a couple days later.

Nov '10 through Feb '11- Ovulated according to the pee sticks, three BFN's. Menstruated every 7 weeks or so. GP refused to do any additional testing saying "insurance wouldn't approve" or "there's no way you'll get pregnant this fast".

late-Feb 2011- Moved. Switched insurance again. New doctors again. Vow to start "trying" again in May.

So there it all is. My sordid history. I hope you've enjoyed learning about my ordeals with difficult doctors, differing insurance plans, and broken ovaries. I'm letting my infertility out of the closet.

Moving is a cold, hard, beeatch

I knew that it probably wouldn't be good having, for all intents and purposes, an unlimited food budget for 40 days. Combine that with a poorly equipped kitchen, and a new busy schedule complete with 6am start time for work, and you have a recipe for diet disaster. I had high hopes of continuing to lose weight while on per diem, but alas, those high hopes will have to go back on the top shelf from whence they came. I'm up about 3 pounds from the last time I weighed myself before the move, about 6 weeks ago. I'm up 6 pounds from my lowest weigh-in. I knew things weren't going to be good when I put on my favorite pair of jeans last Wednesday, and they were tight. They weren't the most comfy pair to wear to work, but I was bound and determined. I had hoped that maybe the dryer at the temporary apartment was shrinking them, but now that the evidence is in, there's no excuse.

So here we are. Things are gonna change, for real this time. I'm starting to run. Intervals for now, but eventually I'll be less crappy at it. I'm starting to swim. Gotta get the full use out of my pool membership! So I'll see you all in a week, McFatty's. One week. Less pounds. More exercise. Less food. More healthiness.

So there.


Today I weigh: 181.6 lbs
Today my BMI is: 27.2
Weight loss/gained this week: didn't weigh last week
Goal: 165 lbs (wedding weight!!!!)
Goal BMI: 25.5
By When? April 24th (which is clearly, not going to happen)

Well, hello there!

Guess who arrived? CD 1! On Saturday. At the risk of over-sharing, you could TELL that it had been almost 60 days since my last cycle. Things were not pretty in Ladyville. But that's the price I'll pay. The cramps weren't horrific this time, only really bothering me over the weekend. No warning cramps though, like I usually do, which was part of the horror. I'm very curious what was different this time around. I mean, the only thing I actively did different was NOT see an acupuncturist. Which I was convinced was a whole bunch of hand-waving, but now? Maybe I could use a little more hocus-pocus in my life.

We're moving again tomorrow moved yesterday. Into a duplex with a yard on a greenbelt full of healthy running paths and doggie play areas and three bedrooms and good times to be had. We've been in a little corporate apartment for the last 40 days, and we're feeling it. We'll also be closer to the pool I joined, so all that'll be good for my McFatty ways. (Ignore the mouth full of macaroni and cheese. We haven't hadn't moved yet, duh.)

The move has been incredibly overwhelming and all consuming, mainly due to the fact that Dr Boy can't lift anything due to the 10-days post-appendectomy. He assures me he's fine, but I'm terrified of the hernia the surgeon warned of if he was too active too soon. At least everything's in the new place now, and we're just in the unpacking phase. I should take a picture tonight. It's horrifying.

Anyone want to come help? I make a mean crock pot of chili... If I can find the crock pot, that is...

An Ode to My Scale

Oh angst-inspiring square piece of glass,
You tell me how much fat I've acquired on my ass.

Into storage you have gone for the entire month,
I don't know what I weigh. Harrumph.

I miss knowing the daily changes in my weight
That make me feel not so good, or great!

Without that scale I do not know
How much I added with that Ho-Ho.

So thank you, Dear Scale, for all that you do,
Including seeing how much I lose when I poo.

-JM

Helloooooooo again, at long last, McFatties! I have been quite busy, uprooting my home, packing, moving, starting a new job, etc. Things are in a bit of upheaval in the Meier household, and most of our worldly possessions are in temporary storage. Including my Dear Scale. Part of me wants to buy a new one, but the other part says eff it. It'll only be another three weeks or so and it's not worth the $$. It is, though, funny how much weighing yourself nearly-daily keeps you actually caring what the number is.

I'm doing alright right now, I guess. I've been a LOT more active since I moved, taking a swim class once a week, and walking with the crazy puppy a lot more (note: she's still insecure). Taking my pills.

Unfortunately, there's been a LOT of eating out recently, and I mean a LOT. Plus, I can neither confirm nor deny my presence at a beer tasting festival this last weekend.

So.... for my goal? I'm sure I'll fall short, but I don't think by much. I'll let 'ya know when My Scale comes home....

...and then go on a crash diet to not look like a FAILURE for the next 24 days.

Today I weigh: Who knows? (net loss xx lbs)
Today my BMI is: Mmmmm kay
Goal: 165 lbs (wedding weight!!!!)
Goal BMI: 25.5
By When? April 24th

Warm Fuzzy

Things that I loved about today:

1. Fun times at work! The new job is really fun, and I'm absolutely loving learning a new skill-set. It's a lot of the same, but with a new spin. Having a new challenge is refreshing. I missed it.

2. Fun small walk with the Pooper, our neurotic dog. She's liking the temp housing we're at and the pond across the street.... lots of jackrabbits to chase!

3. Coffee date with great people. There have been more social events in the week we've been here than we ever had in a week's time back in our old city. For that reason alone, I know we made the right call moving up here, despite some of the drawbacks.

4. Making the first step towards being an aquatic Master. One hour swim class. For my lame-o out of shape butt. Man, am I sore and tired ALREADY. I will sleep fantastically tonight... for the first time this week.

5. Knowing I will sleep FANTASTICALLY tonight.