Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Shocker! (15dpo, 10dp5dt)

Had my second beta today. Not pregnant. I was reeeeeal surprised.


A list.
- Last night's PIO shot was the absolute least painful one yet. Go figure.
- I can't wait to feel like I can sleep w/out a sports bra on.
- Estradiol tabs give me heartburn from hell, not wishfully-thought pregnancies.
- Holy hell the withdrawal bleed is going to be awful, huh?
- Dr Boy was awesome and briefed his parents not to bring up the failed test on Sunday. Even when I brought it up, they were really good. No "we'll get 'em next time" or anything else unhelpful. Win.
- I went running last night. First time since Thanksgiving. It's amazing how weak I felt. I run intervals, but could only do one third what I was back then. Lame.
- Also? With every step I took, my PIO butt bruises jiggled. OOOOOWWWWWWWWWW. Today my hips hurt.
- WTF appt is Thursday afternoon. I want to get this FET on the road AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. I feel this sense of urgency about it that I just can't even explain.

I still have a lot to sort through, mentally. I keep forgetting that Dr Boy is going through this too. I'm not strong enough right now to help him get through it, and that sucks. You know what he was doing Sunday morning when I told him? Seeing newborns. Two to three day old newborns. I can't even imagine that.

I'm also grappling with success rates. But that's for another day.

Thanks for all the support and thoughts and prayers. I'm sorry it was a waste of time.


  1. I wish I could do or say something to help, but I know nothing will. So, so, sorry. :(

  2. Well crap. I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could say that would make it better, but I know there isn't. I will say, after our m/c IVF cycle the one thing that finally made me feel better was having a plan for our next attempt. Thinking of you.

  3. This sucks so bad. I'm so, so sorry. :(

  4. I am so so sorry. I know what you mean about your husband...mine is a neonatal dr and it was so hard for him to be there saving others' babies when he couldn't even make one himself. Good luck on Thursday.

  5. I am so very sorry. That sucks! Please know that I am thinking of you.

  6. I am so sorry hun. You sound so strong right now, much more so than I have been/will be!
    Take care of you and rest this weekend. The first period yes is usually worse :(. Hugs...xo

  7. supporting you is never a waste of time.
    I'm so sorry hon. Sending a huge hug your way.

  8. Well that sucks huge balls. I am so sorry. :(

  9. So sorry. My 1st IVF failed too. And the following FET. So it took me 3 cycles to get a BFP. So don't become discouraged!! You are lucky to get in nice and fast for the WTF.

  10. I'm sorry JM. I wish I could make it better for you, but alas...I can't. Failure always sucks and especially when you seemingly had it all lined up.

    If you are able to jump right back in, you will have a huge number of ladies to go through your FET with, myself included.

    Again, i'm sorry.


  11. ugh, what shitty, shitty news. i'm so sorry to read this. i've got nothing to say other than:


  12. Crap. This blows; I was really hoping you weren't headed in this direction because we're so far apart and can't even drink together. I'll be drinking with you in spirit, though.

    But, I really think your snow is super cute. ;) hugs woman!

  13. I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better...so I'll just tell you I'm sorry :(

  14. I'm so sorry. I wish there was anything I could do to make you feel better - but this was NOT a waste of time. You tried and did everything you could. I'm praying for you as you sort through all of this.

  15. Really, really sorry. Sending out positive thoughts and virtual hugs. UGGGGHHH.


You know you want to tell me how ridiculous I am...