Saturday, August 20, 2011

Fort Knox

Apparently it's like Fort Knox up in my lady business. The ovaries? They be unstimmed. 

The RE that saw me (not my usual Dr K) didn't see anything measurable on righty (less than 9mm he said), and only one on lefty around 8-9mm. He didn't bother to measure that one either. The plan is to continue 2 vials of menopur each night and come back in on Monday. He seemed pretty certain that we'd end up canceling altogether on Monday.

Big sad face. I asked if we could go up to 3 vials and see if that gets us anywhere, and he said "No, 'cause then we'd just end up with 10 follies." While I don't want to mistrust his medical opinion, since that's what he does for a living and all, I just wonder if upping the dose would make things go crazy in lady town. If two vials isn't doing ANYTHING, why would that make it go CRAZY? His bedside manner wasn't fantastic, and he said that if I wanted an appt long enough to discuss these kind of things I should schedule another one. Then left. It's 3:30pm on a Friday at this point, HOW AM I GOING TO MAKE ANOTHER APPT before the weekend and it's a moot point?

I considered going rogue, but I don't have enough meds to do it. 

I made my appt for Mon am (a long one), then left the appointment in hysterics. Because I'm a drama queen that can't handle stress, apparently. Seriously though, if I can't handle this, how in the hell am I going to handle something TRULY tragic that happens in our lives?

Dr Boy and I discussed it, and really would at least like to try upping the dosage. If we don't see anything promising on Monday, I'm going to advocate for trying an increased dose for two or three days. If we DO end up with over-populated follie-town, we'll just avoid conception this time around so we don't birth a new minor league baseball team all on our own. If this cycle is destined to be a big fat bust-o-rama, we'd at least like to use it as a science experiment to see if we can get the follies to respond to menopur at ALL. 

We don't want twenty babies. We just want to know if this will EVER work. If we'll EVER get to do a damn IUI or just keep cancelling them.

I'm still pretty much an emotional wreck over it, but I'm feeling better about our plan. Provided we can talk our doc into it. Wish us luck.

Now only 48 more hours of waiting.

7 comments:

  1. :-( So sorry to hear. Definitely advocate for upping the dosage. With all due respect to the docs, I think you and Dr. Boy are right for wanting to check the effectiveness of the treatment. That way at least you can move on if need be. Sending you hugs!

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  2. That is really frustrating and I'm sorry you didn't get better news. Don't beat yourself up too bad for having a bit of a melt down at the office. This process is hard and all the hormonies you're pumping into yourself don't help things either.

    I hope these extra days at the higher dose get your ovaries to open up and give you the chance for an IUI.

    Good luck.

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  3. *kicks that doctor*

    I hope you can get your physician to agree to upping your dosage if you still don't see much going on in your ovaries by Monday.

    You are NOT a drama queen. Who wouldn't have a meltdown after receiving that kind of news? *hugs*

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  4. Hon, upping the dosage may not work. There is a certain point where certain meds won't work anymore, but they can always mix meds (for instance I am on Femara and Menopur) or they can add Clomid, or Gonal-F, or something else. If your Dr. is that bad, can you find another? I don't think you're a drama queen. I break down crying after almost every single ultrasound because they are NEVER good news...EVER. I hate them, hate them, hate them. With a passion.

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  5. That's what I would do too. Ask for a drug cocktail. And you are definitely not a drama queen. We have all been there.

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  6. There really is nothing more frustrating than a doctor who doesn't have a good bedside manner and isn't willing to help you or answer questions. Too often they forget what it's like for those of us who don't have their extensive knowledge...and it's such an emotional situation to begin with.

    Keeping you in my thoughts.

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  7. How frustrating. I hope that today's appointment reveals that you can move ahead with the IUI.

    Quick question: in the future, if you overstim can you switch to IVF instead of canceling?

    I'm thinking of going rogue on my own next cycle myself. Just thinking about it makes me feel empowered and in control even though it is probably not the best idea - LOL.

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You know you want to tell me how ridiculous I am...