Friday, August 19, 2011

I had a dream...

All day yesterday and last night I was having a lot of anxiety about the ultrasound this afternoon. First off, I was dumb, dumb, dumb to schedule the thing for the afternoon. I mean really, how in the hell am I going to get anything done at work for the next six hours? (Clearly it's not going well so far or I wouldn't be blogging) That aside, I am terrified that my follies will continue to be lame. I am terrified that the giant stomach and weird cramping is a bad sign, not a good one. I don't want to be stimming for the better part of an entire month. I just don't have that in me. I'm only on 2 vials of menopur, for goddsakes, how in the hell will I deal with IVF if we have to go there???

Though I did let quite a bit of stress out in a good ugly cry before dinner, I still had a ton of it floating around in my brain when I went to sleep. And dreamed about my ultrasound.

Dr Boy was there with me (which he won't be able to do today), and as soon as they wanded me, the doctor got all serious. The Dr said that my follie production had gone off the charts, and that our only option at this point was to trigger and do IVF, or call it off and probably lose my ovaries.

SAY WHAT?????????????????

The dream skips, and the next thing I know, I'm being wheeled into an egg retrieval for our impromptu IVF.

That I didn't want, but was apparently our only chance at having a bio-kid ever.

Then I woke up.

This whole thing is such a mind-fuck. Good thing I have SIX HOURS to obsess about it now.


Last night's injection hurt. No bruise or anything, just lots of soreness around the area. It's mostly gone now.

Also, I was wondering yesterday... does the transvag u/s see to the other side of your ovaries? I mean, if they don't see any good follies on the u/s, is it possible that there is a fantastic one on the other side? And what about lefty? Lefty seems to always be hiding behind my ute or bowel (which I've been told is a frequent problem), so how do they get good, accurate measurements? How do they know there isn't a hiding fantastic follie, that the dominant one we're trying so hard for isn't just being a stubborn camera-shy p-o-s?

These are the things I think about nowadays.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. That dream sounds like quite a mind-frak. Good luck today! Update us when you're back, please!


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