Exhaustion, and Goodbye to the Bitterness

I have no idea why, but I have been absolutely, positively, fall-asleep-in-the-middle-of-a-conversation tired. I get home from work, futz around a bit, and at 6 o'clock? BAM! OK let's be honest it's more like 4pm. And even while I'm still AT work I'm exhausted. I'm not preggo, I'm not sick, I get 7 hrs of sleep. It blows.

Ooooh, to add to the "can't keep eyes open" problem, yesterday I opened the oven while baking some homemade pizza, and smoke got in my eyes and I LITERALLY couldn't keep them open for more than 10 seconds or so. I rock. Dr Boy loved his pizza though. I burned mine. Then my eyes.

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I've been throwing around the idea of doing some sort of snarky anti-Mother's Day FB status message. You know, to combat those self-important "I've been poo-ed on and my boobs are life-giving nuggets of gold and my womb may as well been touched by an angel and i fart unicorn dust" posts that pop up around this time of year? I am quite the sarcastic (often to the point of biting) person so it'd be strait up my alley. I've been fraught with feelings of anger towards fertiles lately. The many baby announcements that pooppop up every which way you look make my heart ache. It's been 29 months (coincidentally the same # of years I've been alive) since we went off BC and started trying, so aren't I entitled to a little heartache about my IF? A snarky status message would really stick it to those pesky fertiles, those that look at you empatheticaly and offer up the not-quite-consoling "At least it's fun trying!"

I decided against it though. I've decided I'm not going to be that person.

I don't want to become that bitter-at-the-world person. I'm going to take a deep breath each time and celebrate the miracle of life. Even if it was an "accident". Or the "first time we tried". That's the same end I'm trying to work towards, right? How hypocritical of me to condemn those that ARE able to conceive easily? I don't want others to have to go through this roller coaster of emotions. I haven't hit the stage of thousands of pills, injections, dr visits, and the rest, but I don't wish that on ANYONE.

I still claim the right to be jealous. But I actively, from here on out, will fight against the urge to be bitter.

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One of the bitterness-distraction techniques I employ- looking at key-yute kitten photos.

(In this case, BP stands for Bitter People)