Thursday, January 19, 2012

The itchies and the bitchies

You know what today is, fine folks? Today is my last day of birth control... w00t! Very exciting stuff here. Based on my track record, I should be getting 'ol AF next Tues or Wed, and have an ultrasound and bloodwork appointment next Thurs to check out the oves and hormone levels. Show? Almost on the road.

I started lupron on Tuesday to suppress the heck out of lefty and righty. Though let's be honest, we needed to do fertility treatments because I *don't* ovulate on my own, so in my opinion it's overkill. But whatever, I was kindof missing all the lovely side effects from all the meds anyways :)

I was on the antagonist protocol for IVF, so I never used lupron for down regulation, just whopping high dose as a trigger. I remember the itchies that ensued for almost two days after the trigger QUITE well. Didn't think our litlte microdoses of 15 units out of an insulin syringe would have the same effect, but surprise! It does. Though it doesn't last as long. Just a nice little reminder for an hour or two that it indeed was there.

Oh! And I'm bitchy! (if you know me, you're all "well duh. not exactly the announcement of the century.") The lupron makes me bitchiER. I'm finding myself MUCH more annoyed by the little things these past couple of days, and I'm blaming it on the meds. Watch out- I'm on these babies for a full three weeks... good times!

In other news, we got the new esradiol valerate, mixed in ethyl oleate, a hypoallergenic (in theory) synthetic oil to replace the sesame oil stuff. Hope that plus the less frequent injections lead to less hives overall- always a good goal in my opinion!

Other than that, life has been a bit crazy. Lots of trip planning (things are set for our ski trip... yay!), lots of relaxing, and finally lots to do at work. I'm pretty much operating on "ignorance is bliss" mode right now. That way I don't have to think about the fact that there are 27 more days until our transfer, 35 more days until our beta, and 37 more days until our RE confirms success or failure.

That's a lot of days. A lot of time for something to go wrong. A lot of time to be reminded that this is our *second* embryo transfer. Every time I think about it, I'm reminded of the simple truth that IVF didn't work for us. The last resort, the big guns, failed. I knew it was possible. I knew it wasn't likely, but not likely doesn't mean not possible. I'm *still* having so much trouble getting past that simple fact, and I'm so annoyed by it that I'm ready to punch myself listening to me whine about it.

So instead of whining, I'm ignoring. All that excitement over today being the last BCP? Feigned. In fact, the thing I'm most excited about today is how AWESOME my hair smells because of shampoo I started using today.

One of these days I'll get "in the mood" for our FET. Just not today. And probably not tomorrow either.


  1. I'm rooting hard for you this cycle! Just an FYI that my clinic has a MUCH higher rate of success with FET in women with PCOS. So it CAN work and I truly hope that this is the cycle for you. Fingers crossed!

  2. That tiny dose packs a punch! I hated that dang itch. I'm rooting for you, lady!!

  3. Heh, your excitement, feigned or not, was well done! I've been in your exact situation with the last two paragraphs. :) It's ok to not be excited or in the mood for now.

  4. I'm crossing my fingers and toes for you! I've been extra bitchy too but don't have the same excuse as you, hahaha. Maybe our hubs needs to hang out and commiserate. ;) Good luck!

  5. Isn't Lupron fun? I like having an excuse to be bitchy, not like I really need one though. Your skiing trip sounds like fun, they are finally getting some snow out west. I haven't experienced the itching from Lupron, but we are all different.

  6. You and all your drugs make you sound like a total junkie! Being a faux addict is something to be faux excited about, right?!

  7. I'm crossing my fingers for you, girly! Thanks for sharing your story.

  8. A woman from my support group said that Lupron makes every day like the worst day of PMS. I have to say I completely agree with her. Good luck!


You know you want to tell me how ridiculous I am...