End of Week One!

Well hellooooooo, fellow McFatty's. While I love the number on the scale, I don't really feel like I earned it. I think rather than actually losing nearly 3 pounds this week, I might have been artificially heavy last week. Maybe I needed to poo? I swear, poo is heavy ;) Yep, I just went there.

What'd I do right this week?
1. Didn't drink- I love me some vino with dinner (and after, and after that...), and I abstained. All week. Of course, I'm on day 11 of the TWW, so there were other motives for that one...
2. Took all my meds on schedule- We all know how easy it is to miss here or there (or maybe it's just me who turns a 7 days course of antibiotics into 9?) but I made a good concerted effort to keep on them. Mostly, this was motivated again by the TWW and taking a prenatal, but the metformin sure helps deal with carbs! To keep track, I put my daily stash into small pillbox in the morning, and took them from there whether I was at home or not. No excuse of "I forgot them at home" or "can't remember if I did or not" when you have them with you at all times and know if they're missing!
3. Started slamming water like it's going out of style. The fake Nalgene I bought when I realized I forgot one on a vacation last summer has come into heavy rotation again. I try to drink most of my water from it, again, for accountability. And to have it with me wherever I am so I don't have the "but bottled water is waaaaay overpriced" excuse. (I'm cheap. Or frugal? Which one is less obnoxious? Or am I obnoxious?) Right now I'm going for 64oz each day (2 bottles/day).

Things I did wrong?
1. Pizza and cake at my work going away party. It would have been rude not to, right?
2. Spinach artichoke dip and spanikopita to celebrate one of my last midnight shifts. My colleague brought it in, and again, far-be-it for me to be rude, right?
3. I bought ice cream. For Sunday/family night dessert. And because it was really cheap. And delicious.
4. Didn't start using my calorie counter.

So I aim to work on those things I did wrong, but I know I won't. I'm helping a good friend celebrate her 30th birthday in Colorado this weekend. Which equates to four nights of drinking, and three days of skiing. Or learning to ski. Which is more like falling a lot. Maybe the exercise (of which I'm sorely lacking right now) will counteract the drunk?

I guess I won't be drunk this weekend if I get exciting news courtesy of my pee tomorrow. If that's the case, this weekend will be a piece of cake to handle! If not, I can drink my pain under the socially acceptable guise of celebrating the end of my friend's 20s.

Today I weigh: 178.2 lbs (net loss 2.8lbs)
Today my BMI is: 27.1
Goal: 165 lbs (wedding weight!!!!)
Goal BMI: 25.5
By When? April 24th

12 DPO. Is it Tuesday yet?

Last set of night shifts? Done.

Office Farewell party? Done.
(Side note: Thank you to my boss, for the lovely office gifts. While the dinner gift card will be awesome, I did not need a beanie with our work logo. Promise. Or a poster of the state of California.)
(Second side note: I swear I'm not an ingrate. Just judgey.)

Peeing On a Stick? Not quite yet.

I can't say I'm afraid of seeing another negative, just more expectant. My boobs feel like they've taken on a life of their own this week. I swear, I woke up yesterday afternoon (night shifts = sleeping 'til 2pm.... errr 3pm), they felt so engorged that they could have had their own orbit. And sore. They're still as "hold me when I go down stairs" attention whorey as they were before, too. But like I said before, that is the plague of my luteal phase. Otherwise, no preggo feelings. No nausea, no spotting. No nothing.

So I'm sure Tuesday won't bring any surprises.

8DPO, don't 'cha know

So according to a little fancy pee stick, I ovulated last Tuesday, which would put me at 8DPO today. I know you're supposed to behave like you're pregnant during the TWW, but I'm bad and have had a few cans of Cherry Coke Zero. You can't hold it against me though- I'm on night shifts this week. My very last night set of night shifts before moving to a job with all days. Halle-freakin-lujah. Besides, caffeine doesn't really count between the hours of 10pm and 5am. I can justify the caffeine by saying that surely my zygote hasn't implanted yet, right? Right?

And let's be honest- this is only the second cycle my body has produced on its own. So there's not much chance of it being successful. I mean, I ovulated on CD21, for godssake. That can't be a really fertile day to ovulate, right? I remember reading something about late ovulators having bad eggs... I should look it up but I'd rather convince myself that this cycle is futile. Leave it to my lazy ovaries to show up to the party late.

I don't FEEL preggo, though I don't really know what that feels like. I haven't had any implantation spotting, my stomach is feeling a wee bit crampy this morning, but it's probably from the spanikopita my coworker forced me to eat, you know, in the spirit of party-time-last-nights-working-together. I swear I'm being good food-wise the rest of the time. My boobs are sore, but that happened the last time I cycled on my own. Sore through the whole freakin' luteal phase. The last few days before my period, I had to hold the girls as I walked down stairs, the only alternative to wearing a sports bra permanently. Oh, and did I mention my last luteal phase lasted 27 days? For realz. That's a lotta sore boob-ness.

So let's hope that I haven't over-caffeinated the hypothetical brand new baby in my belly. The one I don't want to say I hope is there because I don't want to be disappointed again. The one I feel numb about hoping for, because it's easier to stay neutral than sob when you take the HPT on day 14. Which I'll do anyways 'cause that's how I roll.

God I'm whiny and anal-retentive.

The first day of the rest of my...

diet... Otherwise known as my very first McFatty Monday! The ever wonderful "Blair" at Heir to Blair has organized a weekly accounting for our healthy living goals. The point? It doesn't matter if you have five pounds to lose or fifty, as long as every Monday you make a commitment to being healthy. The best way to take care of a family (or start one, in my case), is to take care of yourself.

You might remember that back in October my doctor put me on the restricted sugar diet from hell? Well, I did pretty darned well with it! I saw a nutritionist that specializes in diabetes management, and she gave me some great suggestions for sustainability with the diet.... saying my wack-job doc (who will thus be named Dr Judgy, story later) was not quite right in her nazi-like fatwah with sugar. Sugars that come from fruit and dairy do NOT count towards my daily limit. In fact, she recommended not counting sugars at all, but simply focusing on keeping my carbs under 140 grams per day. Even BETTER, she said any carbs that come from green veggies don't count at ALL. She may have said fruit, but that also may have been wishful thinking ;)


I can't complain too much, and with keeping my carbs below 150 grams, and really avoiding processed sugars (my kit kat bar obsession took a big hit. I. LOVE. KIT. KATs. Gimme a break...), I was able to drop about 15 pounds. You can see my glorious weight chart. I'm pretty damn proud of it. On Dec 31st, I weighed in at 175.8 lbs, which is the lowest I've been since at least early 2008, and I think that's being conservative.

Let's back up. Before TTC, I'd come to terms with being a little chunky (I love food, that's the price, right?), not liking myself in photos (we LOVE to travel, the scenery's the important part, right?), not looking great in bridesmaid dresses (hey, the bride's the one supposed to shine, right?). That's a whole lot of bargaining with myself. When I went off the pill, and didn't get a non-provera-induced period for 23 months, I just figured I had bum ovaries (mommasita always said I came from her bad ovary). I'd fix it with meds and stuff, not by going on a DIET. Oy vey, I'm married to a Dr for godssake, I BELIEVE in modern medicine.

So back to magic weight loss by December, thanks to diet, a mild hypothyroid diagnosis (synthroid), and lots of metformin, upped a little bit each month. I got to thinking, this losing weight thing is EASY PEASY! I can go back to eating a shit-ton of pasta, and well, a kit kat here or there won't go to my spare tire (I carry SO MUCH of my weight in my stomach, thanks for that too, PCOS). And guess what? I was wrong! Despite the magic medication, I gained 5 pounds back thanks to crappy (and over) eating and killing the exercise. KUH-RAZY!

So it stops here, on this very first McFatty Monday. Accountability. To my two readers. 5 lbs per month. For now. Easy peasy. Yeah right.

Today I weigh: 181 lbs (eeee gad, at least it's not the 190 I was when I went to a water park this summer, those pics were a wake up call)
Today my BMI is: 27.5
Goal: 165 lbs (wedding weight!!!!)
Goal BMI: 25.1
By When? April 24th

edited to add: Did I mention that my two readers are crazy athletic types? Oh wait, I didn't need to. They know that about themselves. So they're now sitting there thinking, god, girl, just go run a few miles! Stop stuffing the pie hole and do a triathalon, like me! There will be very little sympathy here.

So hot you're cool, so cool you're hot

$10 points to the reader that can name that 80's band!! ( crickets chirping, because I have, like, two followers... Who are awesome and I love you by the way)

So Dr Boy and I were talking after I.... ummm... may have traded a favor to get out of a chore. Don't judge. Here's how the conversation went:

DB: Why is it so cold all of a sudden at night? We just had a ton of hot nights recently!

Me: Really? I'm pretty sure I just gave you a hot night! Plus I just ovulated, so five out of the last seven nights were steamy too!

DB: No no!!! I meant the weather!! The weather!!

Me: Oh. I thought you were complaining that I left my shirt on.

And to think guys get the bad rap for thinking about sex all the time.

edited: I was singing that song later, and Dr Boy is convinced I made it up.

iBlog

So maybe with an iPhone app I'll blog more? I have so many future posts in my mind, I can at least start ideas flowing this way, right?

So does anyone have a favorite posting app? Suggestions greatly appreciated!!!

Happy Saturday!

Why I'm a crappy blogger

A list, shall we? I like lists.

1. Because I don't think I really have anything interesting to say. There isn't a perspective I can bring to the table that someone else out in the blog-o-sphere hasn't already voiced more eloquently, more humorously, or more insightfully. Trust me, I've spent the better part of... oh... 5 hours today reading posts.... and countless hours yesterday, and the day before, and the day before. There are so many inspirational writers out there, how can I possibly measure up? Oh well. I'm going to do it anyways because it feels good.

2. Because I don't have entertaining things happen to me often enough. It's just me, Dr Boy, a recovered diabetic cat, a loudmouth cat with a minor heart murmur, and an insecure dog. Sure, Dr Boy and I are TTC, and that might be entertaining enough for some to read about, so I need to remind myself that some of my favorite blogs are ones that simply state the reality of life, however mundane, exciting, or disappointing.

3. Because I have crappy ovaries. Why does that make me a crappy blogger? Not so sure. But it does piss me off so that's good enough.

So yeah, ultimately, I'm going to put forth a whole lot more effort here, and maybe, just maybe, someone will read this that isn't mu best friend since high school. 'Cause she HAS to like me. Right, Mrs Viper? Right? Right?

Stay tuned for more updates about our fertility... or lack thereof. And maybe I'll stop lurking on blogs, and actually comment on them! Crazy!

Because I know you're on the edge of your seat, I'll hold you over with a picture. Enjoy!


Our neurotic insecure puppy. Four year old puppy, that is.


A Dr. Boy and his dog... gotta love it.