Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Ready or not...

...here they come! We've gotten past all the hurdles of medications, lining, and hormone levels, and have gotten the green light for our FET tomorrow. At 11:30am PST, we will be transferring two blasts that were frozen on day 6, provided they make the thaw. Our clinic's plan is to thaw one at a time (the six best frosties were frozen in singles) until we end up with two that look picture perfect. I've never heard of anyone transferring day 6 embies, but they hit blast and that seems to be the important part.

Today's PDLAMBLATI- From Lauren
I think I'm finally excited. At least, I'm able to see an outcome that doesn't involve the certainty of failure. It's taken me up until this very last weekend to get here, and I plan on riding the "it might actually work" wave for as long as I can... or at least Wednesday the 22nd when my first beta is drawn. Since it's a D6 transfer, I'll be at 7dp6dt, or 13dpo, which should certainly be soon enough.

The problem with this is that I thought we were still counting these embies as D5's, which would mean a first beta on Thurs the 23rd. I already took that day off to deal with whatever news befalls us, so I can stave off a massive sobfest in the bathroom at my office. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do about that now, other than try and avoid the phone call from the clinic until I leave that afternoon. There's still the POAS question, and I have no idea what I'm going to do on that front yet either.

A few things have majorly helped me get to this point, a point where success is a path that seems a possibility again. Because I'm so fond of lists...

1. Seeing a therapist- Finally got an appt, last Friday. Love her, hate that my insurance doesn't facilitate weekly or bi-weekly meetings. I'll have to do that separately, and plan on working on a plan for that soon. I definitely needs to keep going.
2. Fertility acupuncture- With how passive an FET is, I needed to feel like I was doing *more* to help out with the outcome of this attempt. If nothing else, I have a great new source of relaxation!
3. Going to CO- Dr Boy and a bunch of my grad school friends went skiing this weekend in Breckenridge. It was *exactly* the trip I needed. Great friends, the kind that remind you that even if it's been a year and a half since you've seen each other, you're just as loved and missed. I did NOT get enough time with them, but it was still a fab weekend. And I didn't break myself skiing which is a plus. Though I did look like an overstuffed sausage in my ski jacked circa 1999, and about 40 pounds ago. Oy vey.
4. An email from my bestie, saying that even though I've been an isolationist douche bucket (my words not hers), she still loves me and will be there when the lupron wears off. She's kindof the best friend a girl could have :) I hope she doesn't read this before I drop off her Valentine's gift tonight...
5. The twitters and the bloggies- Ya'll stick by me even when I'm a isolationist douche bucket, too. And I can't thank you enough.

The only thing left to deal with is the fallout of my 6 weeks of monster depression. Which is mainly my isolationist douchebucket status. I need to start actually leaving the house again. For something other than work. And repair the friendships I've left to languish during the last month. One of the pieces of homework the therapist gave me was to reach out to at least one friend each day. Email, phone, text, anything that's getting me out into the world of human interaction again.

I shall start that by picking up cupcakes on my way home...

I also vow to be better here- I mean it. Ya'll are awesome. And I hope you know that.


  1. Duuude I thought you'd fallen off the face of the earth! I'm pretty excited about your transfer tomorrow- I'll be sending good vibes that everything goes well! The one really great thing about IVF is the lack of 2ww... 7 days, heck yes!!

  2. Duude. I love me some isolationist douchebuckets! I am found of being one myself on regular occasion.

    In other news, I'm glad you're feeling hopeful. You know the whole internetz world is pulling for this cycle for you. I sure am. Saying lots of prayers and crossing all my fingers. : )

    Oh, and your legs look tiny in that picture!

  3. Glad you are back feeling refreshed and hopeful! Good luck tomorrow. Sending you positive vibes.

  4. That is awesome news! IF is stressful...don't be too hard on yourself. I am sure you will pick right back up where you left off with everyone. Real friends understand.

  5. Sending you good luck for tomorrow!!

    I just transferred two day 6 embabies on Sat. Not sure of the results yet but I am hoping our day 6 embies are "the ones".

    Hoping this is the cycle for you! :)

  6. I'm so glad you have so many frosties on hand! My clinic only freezes day 5 or 6 embryos, or blastocysts. This was stressing me majorly since I read about a lot of people transfering earlier embryos so I did some research and here is what Dr. Google taught me (warning - this is from Dr. Google so it could be wrong!) The blastocyst stage is when the embryo has developed two distinct tissue types ( I think the placenta and the fetus tissues). It is also the time the embryo implants so it is supposed to be a more natural time to transfer. From what my RE tells me, this gives us the best chance of a positive pregnancy test and a good sticky bean.

    All this said - getting 6 celled embryos in the lab is not easy! You have some rock star babies there and I feel SUPER optimistic for them :)

  7. Yay! I'm so excited for your transfer! And even more excited that you're excited! It's good to see that you're finding a way to climb out of the depression.

    Sending you lots and lots and lots of good thoughts today...

  8. SO excited for you! And so glad to hear you are feeling hopeful, I am definitely hopeful for you too!
    I have totally thrown myself into researching fresh failures vs. frozen successes and found a lot of good reason to try and be optimistic about FET, a lot of people's body's are just not in a good place after an extreme round of IVF (by extreme I mean 36 eggs retrieved!! Or near 5000 e2 like me). On a frozen cycle our hormones are much better controlled and our body is in a better place to implant some babies. Hope to GOD this rings true for you.
    Cheering you on, counting down the days til the 22. Xoxo.

  9. Good luck today! I hope you get great news next week.

  10. Good Luck tomorrow! I too, just started acupuncture. I love it and wish I knew about 12 months ago!!


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