Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Officially Over

Things could be better. It's all officially over. We had our second ultrasound at 6w4d, a Wednesday, and there was very little growth of the sacs. Double blight ovums, final answer. Sigh.

I had skipped PIO/Estradiol Valerate the night before because really, I just wanted to kick my body into withdrawal as soon as possible. Brought the meds to the appt just in case something leaned towards hanging on longer, but obviously didn't need that. I'm glad I did. I started spotting Friday, and passed the tissue Sunday. While my parents, brother, and his significant other were all visiting. Fun right???

*M/C TRIGGER WARNING*

Any qualms I had before about calling this a miscarriage are completely gone. I don't think I will ever forget the sensation of passing those clots. There was just so much MORE than I ever imagined there to be. I passed 4 or 5 large clots, maybe the size of a mandarin orange? (If we can measure fetuses by their like-sized fruit, so can we with m/c clots.) It was horrible. And really out of nowhere. I was sitting on the couch, and had been having some lower back cramping all morning, then BAM. Gush. Ran up to the bathroom, and plop. On and on for about 3 or 4 hours. It was horrible. I passed smaller clots through the next day, then just heavy period-like flow with stringy clots for another 4 or 5 days, literally. I stopped bleeding for good Mon or Tues of last week, after 9 days of bleeding. Ugh.

*END GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION*

So that's over. I had three betas to follow it back down and make sure my body got rid of everything. Just 3 days after the loss (May 28), my beta was already down to 264. That is crazy to me. At 11 days past the loss, my beta was down to a frustratingly close 8. Final beta was yesterday, at 15 days past, and down to 5. Not pregnant enough to count as not pregnant.

So that's that. We're hoping to get a cycle together for August. For now, I'm working on getting healthy. Like, for serious. I actually joined a gym.

Yeah. So. Loss. Thanks for the love- I honestly had no idea any of you were still out there in a place you could actually find me! Love to see some of you familiar faces :)

11 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you went through that, it sounds horrible! Sounds like you are feeling positive about moving forward. ((Hugs))

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  2. I had an early loss before my pregnancy with the boys, and I felt the same way- really surprised as how much was there and how it felt for being so early on. It's a horrible experience, and I'm glad you're past the hardest of it. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best for August!

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  3. I'm very sorry. Sending you lots of love.

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  4. Just had my own early miscarriage...sad faces all around. Glad it's all over though finally and you can move on to the next cycle!

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  5. So sorry for you. I'm thinking of you going through this, all of this. Hugs, mama.

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  6. This is my 2nd FET, the first ended in miscarriage after seeing a h/b at 6 week 3 day. My beta this time around is lower than the last and didnt quite doubling at the beginning either. My first ultra sound is this coming Monday. I am nervous. So sorry for your loss. Did you do genetic testing on you embryos? Did you have any symptoms besides the beta numbers? I was having crammps and spotting really early on.

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    1. GOOGLE JUST ATE MY RESPONSE TWICE. So abbreviated- so so sorry about your first FET. It's awful. Yes symptoms- daily puke, frequent peeing, bloat. No genetic testing, we'll do it if we have to do a third retrieval. Email if you have more questions! meiermadness@gmail.com Good luck on Monday!

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  7. I'm just so sorry you had to go through that. It sounds terrible and sad. I wish you the best in your recovery. Hang in there. We are still reading.

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  8. Hi, I follow some people on twitter who follow you and that led me here to your blog! I'm so sorry about this cycle. It plain sucks to have to go through a loss.

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    1. Hey there! Who are you on twitter? Did I approve a follow from you? Let me know!

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