Officially Over

Things could be better. It's all officially over. We had our second ultrasound at 6w4d, a Wednesday, and there was very little growth of the sacs. Double blight ovums, final answer. Sigh.

I had skipped PIO/Estradiol Valerate the night before because really, I just wanted to kick my body into withdrawal as soon as possible. Brought the meds to the appt just in case something leaned towards hanging on longer, but obviously didn't need that. I'm glad I did. I started spotting Friday, and passed the tissue Sunday. While my parents, brother, and his significant other were all visiting. Fun right???

*M/C TRIGGER WARNING*

Any qualms I had before about calling this a miscarriage are completely gone. I don't think I will ever forget the sensation of passing those clots. There was just so much MORE than I ever imagined there to be. I passed 4 or 5 large clots, maybe the size of a mandarin orange? (If we can measure fetuses by their like-sized fruit, so can we with m/c clots.) It was horrible. And really out of nowhere. I was sitting on the couch, and had been having some lower back cramping all morning, then BAM. Gush. Ran up to the bathroom, and plop. On and on for about 3 or 4 hours. It was horrible. I passed smaller clots through the next day, then just heavy period-like flow with stringy clots for another 4 or 5 days, literally. I stopped bleeding for good Mon or Tues of last week, after 9 days of bleeding. Ugh.

*END GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION*

So that's over. I had three betas to follow it back down and make sure my body got rid of everything. Just 3 days after the loss (May 28), my beta was already down to 264. That is crazy to me. At 11 days past the loss, my beta was down to a frustratingly close 8. Final beta was yesterday, at 15 days past, and down to 5. Not pregnant enough to count as not pregnant.

So that's that. We're hoping to get a cycle together for August. For now, I'm working on getting healthy. Like, for serious. I actually joined a gym.

Yeah. So. Loss. Thanks for the love- I honestly had no idea any of you were still out there in a place you could actually find me! Love to see some of you familiar faces :)